Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Limbo

I feel like I'm in this really weird state of emotional limbo where I just don't know how to feel.

 

Like, I miss you. But also not. Like, I'm just confused.

Not that I'm glad you're gone. Just.

I'm tired of thinking about it all.

 

I want to just forget for a while. Not forever. Just for a while.

Peace. I want peace.

But I hurt too much. Not the same way as before.

But somehow.

 

I'm confused.

I don't know what to do.

 

I love you.

But not in the same way that I did.

 

And yet, I can't STAND the thought of you liking or dating or being with someone else.

Like, I feel like you'll try to date other people, and realize they're not as good as me and...

I know that's bullshit.

 

But.

I just.

I don't know.

 

~Molly

Epiphany

For the first time in my life, I'm tired of needing people.

I'm tired of relying on others for everything.

 

I want to be independant.

I think the reason I never was able to do it before was that I really didn't want to be.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I couldn't be more independant for you.

 

And that I'll never be able to.

 

I love you.

 

I miss you. As my best friend, I miss you.

As my best friend, I love you.

~Molly

Oops

So I think you may've been reading this.

Part of me knows that's probably not a good thing.

Part of me wishes it made a difference. But I know it probably doesn't.

 

I saw that you voted.

I'm proud of you.

 

I had a lot of rerf today.

 

So many things remind me of you...

It's hard going to class now because one of the things that reminds me of you the most is Ben. And today he had on a new pair of boots I know you would love.

And then after class he was talking about music. Music I know you like. I actually had to go and sit in the bathroom for a few minutes to recompose myself. Thankfully, when I came out the subject had changed. But it hurt.

I miss you. The sad comes and goes, but what doesn't change that I miss you.

I'm sorry.

 

I love you. I miss my best friend.

 

~Molly

Dunno What To Name This Post So Derp

I wish I could put my actual feelings here.

Like, not just write out things that somewhat represent my feelings. But just let my heart do the writing.

 

But if I actually try to do that all I end up with is kf jslkfjlaowihoeaifhjlsjgh lsjfls jfls kjfwoithjowisjfd kv.

 

I miss you. My best friend. My partner in crime.

 

I wish I could go back and fix everything.

 

I wish... for you. I don't know. To hear from you. Even though I can't respond.

 

It's been 21 days. 39 left.

 

I wish I knew you were feeling as terrible as I am and that's really awful of me. I'm so awful.

I wish I knew... how you feel at all.

 

I wish you would come back and do that thing that you would do that made me smile. Which was pretty much everything, but mostly I mean the thing with my face and stuff. The voice you would speak in. I miss it all. I miss you. So. Damn. Much. Not always. But a lot of the time.

 

Maybe I should just get used to losing best friends. This is the third time it's happened, I think. Maybe fourth. I dunno.

 

Maybe someday I'll get used to being abandoned.

What a sad existance.,

 

I love you.

 

~Molly

You're Fine

I think one of the things that bothers me the most is that, from what I can tell, you're doing just fine. You're the same. You haven't changed at all.

 

I've changed. I'm... sad. At least, sadder than usual. You're just... fine. At least from what I gather.

 

I doubt you're totally fine on the inside. You used to post sad depressing statuses on Facebook all the time, but now, when I wish you actually WOULD post them, nothing. I'm such a terrible human being.

 

I mean, I'm okay. I've been better. But it still weighs on me. It still takes over my thoughts at least once everyday. You do.

 

Do I? Does it? Do you have that problem?

 

I wish I knew. I wish I knew that this was hard for you too.

 

And I'm sorry for that.

 

I love you. I miss you.

 

~Molly

I've Gone Mad

IT'S 7:30 AM AND I HAVEN'T SLEPT AND I'VE HAD CAFFEINE.

WOOHOO.

I'm going insane, Christopher.

 

 

Apparently my mom used to be a real pothead.

 

Skfjslkdjfowiejfslkd

 

 

This is the worst post ever.

 

I think things didn't work because I'm an ENFP and you're either an ISFP or an ISTP. SO THAT DOESN'T WORK SO WELL, I DON'T THINK. APPARENTLY I'D DO BEST WITH AN ISFJ OR ISTJ.

SO.

YEAH.

Why was I yelling?

 

Miss you, tiger.

I love you still.

 

~Molly

Bleh

It's just one of those times where memories hit you and you're just all rerfing all over the place and you know that shit makes a fucking mess.

 

Did that sentence even make sense.

Oops.

 

I miss you. I remeber everything and I miss you. It's a vicious cycle where one minute I'm fine and the next I'm just... Terrible.

 

I hate this; I miss you.

I'm almost half-way with the 60 day thing. I'm kinda proud of myself. I bet you would be too.

 

I love you.

 

~Molly

LOOK OUT, AMERICA. MOLLY IS MOBILE.

So I got my license yesterday.

 

I bet you're proud of me. Even if you haven't said anything.

 

It would've been a year today. Sad, isn't it?

I know it is for me, at least.

 

But it's also nice. Because even though it didn't turn out like I thought it would,

I don't regret it at all. I'm glad it happened. Not glad it ended. But better to happen and then end than to have not happened at all.

Or, to be more philosophical, better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

 

I love you. And I miss you.

 

~Molly

Oh My Goodness

THIS BLOG IS BEING READ BY STRANGERS ALFSKDFJ.

 

People I don't know.

 

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

 

 

 

Okay..

 

I'm over half-way with the 60-day thing.

I have no idea what I'll do when it's over. But whatever I do, I must act distant.

I have to become neutral.

 

That will be hard.

I miss you.

 

~Molly