Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

I Can't Believe I'm Doing This Again...

Dear Christopher,

 

Well. Here's a thing that I thought wouldn't happen again.

Heartbreak.

So much.

Even more than when Alex broke up with me.

And I'm using the exact same outlet to vent. Only this time, I'm not saying these things to you by choice. Not because you don't want anything to do with me ever again, like he did.

I am doing a 60-day Hetox thing. I cannot see or talk to you for 60 days. I'm on day 4. I hate it.

I fucking HATE IT.

 

This is painful.

I don't know how remaining frinds is even going to work.

You said you'd wait a few months before dating again.

A FEW MOTHERFUCKING MONTHS.

 

I can't... I don't think I'll be able to deal with that. I don't know if I can do this.

And yet, I can't let you just walk out of my life.

Not that you'd go willingly, I know, but...

I dunno, Chris.

I just don't know.

 

One thing I do know.

Neither of us really know enough about ourselves, or what we want, to be in a serious relationship anyway.

And yet...

I'd do anything to have you back.

You became my identity.

My purpose.

I know that's wrong. But that's just how it was.

Still is, even.

 

Oh, what am I going to do without you? D:

Derp.

 

I miss you, papabear.

 

Love, Molly